Notlite te Bastardes Carborundorum

jebbmeh:

partevia:

sometimes i have like really deep thoughts like the internet is fucking incredible man i can go on google and see like 10,000 dicks in an hour and like imagine back before the internet even, you couldn’t see that many dicks in a life time. I’ve seen more dicks this week than any Babylonian prostitute did in her entire life. Amazing.

(Source: raigau)

chris-noth:

today on the bus all the little middle schoolers were talking and one of them was like “can we stop arguing about the bass?” AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM AT THE EXACT SAME TIME SAID “JUST DROP IT” AND STARTED WUBBING IM LAUGHING FOR FIVE HUNDRED YEARs.

(Source: likeasolarfire)

when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that i can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s better and involves me

(Source: pizza)

feefeeri:

so i bumped into this kid i used to go to school with 3 years below me down at the train station today and i somehow managed to make him buy me a watermelon from the grocery store

but then i took it one step further and convinced him that we needed party hats
for both us and the watermelon

i’ve barely even spoken to this kid before in my life and he did exactly what i said without hesitation

rnedia:

when did this

become more attractive than this?

(Source: drarna)

h0odrich:

It’s mad depressing when u eat the last piece of candy but you didn’t look at the bag and realize it was the last one so you could truly appreciate it for what it was worth

khajiduh:

if i were famous, i’d go to a red carpet event in a fashionable tan leather dress, and when they asked me who i was wearing, i’d say ‘i don’t know her name, but she had a beautiful complexion, didn’t she?’

jonbutter:

“we accept the infinite we think we swear in this moment”

(Source: bobbymoynihan)

jaseherondale:

childrapist666:

edwad:

jaseherondale:

Did you know that in Australia it’s five times more likely that you’ll pick a partner based on humour rather than looks so if you’re ugly but a hilarious motherfucker then you’re almost guaranteed love

yea but have u ever seen an ugly australian

i am waiting for an ugly australian to add their selfie to this post pls do it is beckoning you to tumblr fame

breadboxes:

breadboxes:

what did vincent say when he lost his car in the parking lot 

“where did my van gogh”

(Source: coolanimeblog)

basedgodniall:

*calls family member by mom’s request*

*silently prays it goes to voicemail*

(Source: nointerrruption)